How are or is girls self-image affected by the actions and behaviors of their mothers? Do they develop their own opinions and beliefs regardless of their mothers’ actions? Does their attitudes, actions and opinions solely depend how they are perceived or judged by others? Are there other more significant factors that affect their self-image? These are pertinent questions as many girls, young women and mature women alike have very serious self-image issues. Psychologist and self-esteem expert Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D. states that “Low self-esteem among girls and young women has reached a crisis level.” So is it a really a mother’s fault that her daughter is promiscuous, has no sense of modesty, always worries about how they look or how much they weigh, or looks at themselves like they are an animal at market trying to attract a buyer? These are the questions which plague not only society at large but also girls, young women and mature women alike as well as their families and friends who are questioning their behavior or choices.
Regardless of the source of the factors that influence how girls view themselves the statistics show that most American girls have negative self-image issues. One study reports, according to The National Institute on Media and the Family, “that at age thirteen, 53% of American girls are “unhappy with their bodies.” This grows to 78% by the time girls reach seventeen.” Dosomething.org reports that “44% of high school girls are trying to lose weight” and that “Over 70% of girls age 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, when they feel bad about their looks.” The same source reports that “75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities like cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or disordered eating.”
There are conflicting opinions regarding the factors that affect a girl’s self-image. The studies and analysis’ regarding how a girl’s self-image is affected has been researched and explored by a multitude of sources too numerous to quote. The National Association of Social Workers simplifies the influences as “personal, familial, and cultural factors.” However one must eliminate personal (originating from the person) as an influence as a person’s personal opinions, views and behavior are most often influenced and shaped by their experiences, the culture they live in and family relations. No one suddenly wakes up and decides that they are fat or ugly on their own. Someone or something tells them whether it is their family, their peer group, or media images, that they are not perfect. It is important to determine what has the most influence on young women’s views of themselves so that this crisis can be remedied.
One opinion on this issue is that a mother’s opinions carries great weight with young girls. These opinions can be communicated via their behavior, choices or verbally expressed. There is much research and many professional opinions that indicate that a mother’s behavior and choices is a direct link to that of their daughter’s. According to a Susan Stern, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, “The Self Psychology Theory of Normal Child Development states that all children, at some point in their development, need validation and acknowledgment from parental figures.” A national study indicates that “67% of girls ages 13 to 17” and “91% percent of girls ages 8 to 12 turn to their mother as a resource when feeling badly about themselves.” The behavior and actions of a mother can have a huge impact on her daughter. Jaqueline Lapa Sussman, MS, LPC states that “Mothers are powerful role models for their daughters’ images of themselves” and that “your attitude about your own body and sensuality, whether you talk about it or not, is automatically passed down to your daughter.” In light of these facts it would seem that mothers must have at least some responsibility for their daughter’s self-esteem and body image issues. However there are a variety of sources in which the dominant consensus is that media has an extraordinary influence on how girls view themselves despite the effects of their mother’s behavior and choices.
It is no wonder that media apparently has such a strong influence. According to a WebMD article “The average teen girl gets about 180 minutes of media exposure daily and only about 10 minutes of parental interaction a day…” This is confirmed by other sources such as The Kaiser Family Foundation who states that “Today, 8-18 year-olds devote an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes to using entertainment media across a typical day (more than 53 hours a week).” Not only are they devoting this extraordinary amount of time to media but “because they spend so much of that time ‘media multitasking’ (using more than one medium at a time), they actually manage to pack a total of 10 hours and 45 minutes’ worth of media content into those 7½ hours.” It is no wonder that that the average girl and woman feels so much pressure when the most famous, richest, and most popular and successful women on television, in movies and in magazines are the ones who are slim, have larger boobs than what they were born with (much less those they had 5 years ago), change their hair color and style regularly, and wear tight, revealing, and flashy clothing. Other images and ideas in the media are influential as well. The current Republican Party frontrunner, Donald Trump, is currently well-known as the loud mouthed, controversial, rich guy trying to appeal to the masses. But he is also famous for cheating on and eventually leaving Ivana Trump, his adventurous, intelligent, beautiful, and dedicated wife of more 12 years and mother of his 3 children, for a 21 year old former showgirl and beauty queen. And who can forget the very public scandal caused by former President Bill Clinton’s infidelity with a much younger woman. Even celebrity husbands such as Jude Law, Ben Affleck and most recently Gavin Rossdale, whom had successful, intelligent, rich and beautiful wives of many years, have been outed for violating their marriage vows by fornicating with the young nannies hired to care for their children. The messages sent to women and girls by government officials and celebrities alike through these kinds of images and behaviors is that no matter how smart or successful you are, how well you treat yourself and your family, how much time, effort, and emotion you dedicate to your relationship or marriage, there is always the chance that you can and will be replaced by a younger, slimmer, prettier version.
Obviously media plays a larger role when it comes influencing young girls’ opinions of themselves. “All women, old and young alike, are under the constant assault of media generated images of youth, beauty, and thinness as the measure of a woman’s worth.” And there is the unfortunate circumstance of the many wives and daughters experiencing their dads, husbands and boyfriends leaving their girlfriends, wives, and families for someone who is younger, or skinnier, or has bigger boobs. In light of these facts it is no surprise that many women and girls believe that their appearance not only effects their success in life but their relationships. It is sad that women and girls at large even in these modern, liberated times are still viewed and view themselves as a commodity like a well raised cow. A belief of the better it looks the more you can get for it and vice versa, the better you look the more you can get is perpetrated by the media every day. However “Since daughters unconsciously identify with their mothers, all mothers have tremendous power to shape their daughters’ self-image.” “A mother who accepts how she looks, and has a healthy attitude about weight, wrinkles, and aging, goes a long way in helping to counter the peer and media pressure her daughter faces.”
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