A SHORT STORY BY ME!

Ashley thinks about how morally wrong her bosses instructions were when she gets off the phone with him. Her boss is a Jewish lawyer that unfortunately fits every stereotype there is for a greedy and crooked Jew lawyer. Ashley has known her boss for more than twenty years. There was a time that she considered him a smart, tactful, caring person. But in the last few years she has watched him fall into the crevices that many struggling attorneys fall into. The good Jewish boy that goes to temple every Saturday and is dedicated to his family lives a double life. When he is at home, he is a dedicated vegan husband and father. When he leaves the house he is a vicious, cheating vegan whose moral flexibility knows no bounds. Ashley has known him and been close friends through it all and does not like what she sees. Ashley has not survived sexual, mental and physical abuse, an attempt on her life, the horror of addiction, and attending years of therapy all without killing some random person, much less herself, just so she can witness and participate in the newly found moral flexibility that Jerry has adopted. Ashley believes that in order to overcome the tragedies and mistakes of her past that she must be morally committed and remove herself from the stress of greed, hubris and fame. Jerry, her boss, has made many poor decisions and has lost most of his cases in the last few years and is now suffering the financial consequences of his actions. Many of the cases he lost, Ashley warned him against and tried to discourage his efforts. She does not take comfort in the fact that she was right about most every case. Although she is confident in her knowledge and experience she is no longer concerned for his welfare or the welfare of the office. The old Ashley tries to come out- that ugly head- the violent, uninhibited, vindictive, uncontrolled Ashley that has no remorse or emotion. That Ashley is gone and is not who she is anymore. Through her trials and tribulations and years of therapy, her moral flexibility is gone and her sense of right and wrong remain prevalent in her life. She is still a misunderstood bitch by most people’s definition. But most people still love and respect her despite her abrasiveness.

Ashley gets off the phone and sits at the corner desk in the living room of her aging condo. As she stares at the computer screen she begins to ponder her life and her employment situation. She looks to her left at the neatly stacked law books. She had wanted to be a lawyer for a many years. Funny how things change. As she sees Roscoe her orange tabby Hemingway cat sprawled out on the bar in the kitchen a smile comes. Oh how it would be to be as spoiled and carefree as Roscoe. As she looks around her home she realizes that has not done too badly for herself. She has a good life. Her home is well appointed and decorated in shades of brown, white and blue. There is an oriental motif throughout her home except for her kitchen. She is most proud of her kitchen. When she moved in to this nine hundred square foot condo she had little more than dishes, a microwave, and a tiny coffee maker to appoint her kitchen with. Now she has most every cooking appliance you can think of. In the last two years she has purchased a food processors, meat grinders, crockpots, a toaster oven, and an electric can opener. Since she likes to bake so much she also added a set of professional baking pans and a beautiful cake stand. The kitchen is decorated in a Rooster motif from the rugs to the hand towels to the pot holders to the tiny little rooster sitting on the stove.  The motif classes with the rest of the hose but she doesn’t care. She likes it. It’s fun and quirky. She is happy with her life and positive changes she has made. She walks to the sliding glass doors at the back of the living room to watch the sun set and realizes the answer to a question that she has been asking herself for a long time. The question…do I want to continue to work for Jerry? She immediately realizes that the answer is a quick NO! Jerry has commanded her to do something that is morally wrong and against federal laws all while threatening her employment. There was a time she would just do it and leave it to the rules of survival. He did give her a job when no one else would. But now the tasks of the job are eating away her soul. Now add this to the many terrible decisions and morally corrupt choices she has watched him make and forced her to participate in added to the consequences that others suffer because of them and she decides that she can no longer follow orders. Her self-respect is worth more. She is grossly underpaid and Jerry takes advantage of her every life issue. It is time to make a change. She looks out the sliding glass doors of her living room and a sort of peace and satisfaction comes over her that she hasn’t felt for a long time. And then the old Ashley comes out. He will pay. She knows a lot of secrets. He will pay for his sins. And then she remembers a powerful quote she once read and calms the old Ashley away. In his book Life, the Truth and Being Free, author Steve Maraboli says “You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.”