TRUSTING YOUR INSTINCTS

Instincts- it is a concept for which when pondering most people think about about lions, monkeys, rodents or other wild animals. We see tremendous examples of animal instincts by watching and trying to understand our domesticated (used loosely) pets or by viewing shows on television channels like Animal Planet, Discovery Channel or National Geographic which televise a myriad of shows regarding animal environments, behaviors, and instincts. Animal instincts are also covered or at least addressed in various major motion pictures, animated films, documentaries and scientific studies.

Instincts are something that ALL animals possess. Civilized (also used loosely) or not, we are animals of this planet. Instinct can be defined as any behavior that is performed without being based upon prior experience (that is, in the absence of learning), and is therefore an expression of innate biological factors.

In the wild if a lion’s status is challenged, a violent exchange ensues until one lion either retreats or is killed. Although on many occasions I have acted in the same manner under the same circumstances, this is not considered an acceptable behavior amongst the intelligent group of beings that we humans consider ourselves. As supposedly evolved animals of higher intelligence, humans are trained to counteract, control and/or question their natural instincts.

However, some of our natural instincts cannot be controlled and are completely reasonable.For example, when a woman walks into a dark parking lot, her instincts kick in and she knows she is vulnerable which dictates her actions and behavior.

If you get a gut feeling, no matter how irrational, follow it. If you are wrong the consequences are that your safety and survival are ensured. If you are right – guess what – you get the same results.

Instead of questioning every thought and action you have, when you get a feeling that something isn’t right or you should be cautious, follow that extinct. You will surprised how much heartache and negativity you can avoid by trusting  your instincts.

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SERIES: MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS! EPISODE 3

In previous episodes of this series, I informed you on how evaluating your spending, being open to change and making changes in your home could save you money. This episode is the first of several dedicated to reducing spending for 3 expenses that every household in the world has – groceries, personal items and household items.

I was completely astonished to discover that the average American spends $151 a week on groceries (According to 2012 poll done by gallup.com). The figure is so astonishing to me because I feed myself and my 6 foot 195 pound boyfriend very well, bake treats for my workers, and have my daughter, grandchild, or mother over for a meal a few times a month all for an average of about $75 a week.

Buying groceries is an especially important area in which you should evaluate your spending and be open to change.

One of the biggest areas that pose a significant grocery cost is fresh produce and herbs. There are healthy alternatives to buying fresh produce and herbs that can save you a tremendous amount of money.

Let’s start with modifying you spending on fresh herbs. The average price of fresh thyme at any grocery store is $2.99 for .2 ounces. You can supply your house with an unending supply of fresh Thyme and many other herbs by purchasing them alive and growing at any farmer’s market or plant festival and in many garden departments of major retailers for an average $6 a plant. Many herbs can be grown in a windowsill in a small pot requiring little attention other than occasional watering and a little trim every now and then. The amount you can get from a well cared for live plant is never ending and much more cost efficient. Add to that you know exactly where your herbs come from and you can take pride in growing your own meal ingredients all while saving money. Dried herbs and spices are another alternative. Most carry the same flavor punch as fresh with a longer shelf life and easy storage. In addition, many recipes call for dried herb measurements.

Fresh produce is a huge expense to most families. Not only is fresh produce expensive but has a very limited shelf life.  Fresh is good but hard on the budget. Canned and frozen vegetables maintain an extended shelf life and are easier on your purse. Many canned and frozen vegetables available are vegetables that are picked at the peak of their freshness and processed immediately without chemicals or additives. You can get the same vitamins and nutrients from canned and frozen veggies at half the cost. If you find a great deal on canned or frozen veggies you can stock up without having to worry about spoilage and save yourself even more money.

The most important way to save money is by making a shopping list before you hit the store. Making a grocery list is supremely important. You should never go shopping without a list. However, your grocery list should not determine your grocery budget. Your grocery budget should determine your grocery list. DO NOT plan meals and then make a list. Always create a grocery list of things that are listed in store sale flyers and online ads that are items you will or commonly eat. Then you can create your menu out of what you have purchased all at a tremendous savings.

There are all kinds of ways to save money on groceries of which I fully intend to educate you on. So stay tuned in to my posts. More money saving advice is coming.

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Blessings and Curses

My previous post entitled “Bearing the Scars of Your Past” talked about accepting the consequences of your actions and not letting the mistakes you have made in your life define you. Although many persons find ways to move on after making mistakes or bad decisions they consider the mistakes curses that they will always have to live with. This post is about redefining your curses as blessings in disguise.

The 1st paragraph of an article entitled “Is It a Blessing or a Curse” on beliefnet.com states my beliefs on this subject perfectly. The paragraph states “Even those experiences we deem calamitous can carry the seeds of a great blessing. It is often only in retrospect, however, that the benefit reveals itself. And whether or not it reveals itself and how quickly it does so, is dependent upon only one thing: our own individual perspective.”

In my life I have made so many mistakes and poor choices I have stopped trying to count how many for fear my brain would explode attempting to do the calculations. But I have reached a point in my life that I realize that there truly is a silver lining in every dark cloud.

Before I became an addict, many years ago, I had a great long term marriage, great relationships with my parents, kids, stepkids, and friends. I had a great job plus an extra part-time job that between the two yielded me about $60k a year. My bills were paid, my kids and husband could do or not do anything they chose. And there was never a time that any member of my family couldn’t rely on me to help them in any way requested. For all intents and purposes, I had a perfect life.

Then Joshua, my 7 month old son died suddenly. Only months later, as I am still grieving the loss of my son, my father died at the ripe old age of 50 due to complications from severe alcohol and cocaine abuse. According to the police and hospital reports he died a horrible, painful, lonely death. The pain I was suffering was more than I could bear. To numb myself from my intense pain I began using drugs. I became severely addicted. In doing so every personal, familial and professional relationship I had was severely damaged or completely lost. Eventually, I got help for my addiction. In doing so, I learned alot about myself that I never contemplated.  I also learned alot about others. And there is where I started learning about my blessings hidden within my curses.

Prior to my  addiction, I looked at all addicts and alcoholics as stupid derelicts and scumbags whom I considered to be a general waste of space and air. What I discovered is that most addicts and alcoholics are actually very intelligent persons who also started using because of some kind of tragedy or extreme pain they were unwilling or incapable of dealing with. The blessing in this is that I have developed understanding and compassion for persons that I previously dismissed as useless.

Prior to my addiction, my $60k a year was pissed away on alot of useless or meaningless crap. And the amount of money I spent feeding my addiction could set up a frugal family for the rest of their life. The blessing- I now appreciate my earnings at a much higher level and am a budgeting, money saving queen.

Another great blessing that has come from my huge mistake of addiction, is my increased appreciation for my familial, personal and professional relationships. If not for my family and friends who loved me and wanted to save me, I would not be here today. I have a better more communicative relationship with my family, loved ones and friends than I’ve ever had in my whole life.

Recovering and rebuilding my life after loss and addiction has been a tremendous undertaking.  What I have realized is that every bad experience I have ever had has made has made me a stronger, smarter, more spiritual, more appreciative, more aware and more determined person. If that’s not a blessing, than I absolutely couldn’t tell you what one is!

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